Saturday, July 16, 2011

I'm writing an Adventure/Horror survival story and well, how is the first chapter?

Its not offly but youre new at this arent you? first off, is Tino a girls name? thats okay, but no little child talks so expressively in a vivid way. they talk simply and she feels too grown up. your plot sounds nothing like your above description so far, but it is the first chapter. your emotions are getting out right. i feel some bitterness between the boy and the step mother lady but its just not coming out right. this could be done better but i like the idea and this is a good basic start to improving it :D

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